|1. Minnesota Timberwolves
||The Timberwolves feel like they have a nice young nucleus with Ricky Rubio and Andrew Wiggins. Karl-Anthony Towns gives them a third solid player that will leave as soon as his rookie contract runs out.
||Karl-Anthony Towns, 7-0, PF/C, Kentucky
|2. Los Angeles Lakers
||The Lakers need help everywhere, and Kobe Bryant needs another big man to yell at, so this is a good pick for everyone involved. Well… except for Jahlil Okafor who will be mentally crushed by January.
||Jahlil Okafor, 6-11, C, Duke
|3. Philadelphia 76ers
||Philadelphia has selected 6-11 Nerlens Noel, 7-0 Joel Embiid, and 6-10 Dario Saric in the past two drafts so they should be set in the frontcourt. Now they just need some guards. Besides, it isn’t like one of those big guys is going to hurt themselves just sitting on the bench.
||Willie Cauley-Stein, 7-0, C, Kentucky
|4. New York Knicks
||The Knicks were terrible defensively. And offensively. And in the front office. And in the locker room. Carmelo Anthony is unreliable and temperamental. The Knicks could really use a point guard to run the structured triangle offense that Phil Jackson wants. Emmanuel Mudiay played professionally in China where he turned it over constantly and shot poorly. He should be a perfect fit.
||Emmanuel Mudiay, 6-5, PG, USA
|5. Orlando Magic
||Scott Skiles was recently hired to coach the Magic and he has a track record of being a no-nonsense disciplinarian. So it is probably best if the Magic drafts someone who will have a language barrier for Skiles’ hot tempered rants.
||Mario Hezonja, 6-8, SG, Croatia
|6. Sacramento Kings
||Sacramento hasn’t had a good point guard since Mike Bibby back when NBA officials orchestrated a playoff win for the Lakers over the Kings. That could never happen now that the NBA has gotten rid of shady characters like Tim Donaghy and now only employ high character refs like Joey Crawford.
||D’Angelo Russell, 6-4, PG Ohio State
|7. Denver Nuggets
||With Justise Winslow on the board the Nuggets would have to be the stupidest franchise in professional sports to let a player with his toughness and versatility slip by.
||Kristaps Porzingis, 7-0, PF, Latvia
|8. Detroit Pistons
||The Pistons get sweet revenge on Denver for that whole Darko Milicic/Carmelo Anthony thing. Who actually won that encounter anyways?
||Justise Winslow, 6-6, SF, Duke
|9. Charlotte Hornets
||You are going to hear experts say the Hornets should select 7’0” Myles Turner out of Texas but every time Hornets owner Michael Jordan sees him he inexplicably screams out “Kwame Brown!”
||Devin Booker, 6-6, SG, Kentucky
|10. Miami Heat
||Pat Riley knows that Dwayne Wade and Luol Deng are in the last year of their contracts and if the Heat are going to have any chance of getting LeBron James back again they need to show some improvement immediately.
||Stanley Johnson, 6-7, SF, Arizona
|11. Indiana Pacers
||Cameron Payne has been compared to George Hill. We aren’t really sure if that is a compliment or not but the Pacers have always had a soft spot for George Hill. So knock yourselves out.
||Cameron Payne, 6-2, PG, Murray State
|12. Utah Jazz
||Frank Kaminsky is a white guy that can give the Jazz some depth up front. He’s white and has a number of low post moves. He also has the ability to stretch the defense with his long range shooting and he’s white. Plus he’s white.
||Frank Kaminsky, 7-0, C, Wisconsin
|13. Phoenix Suns
||Turner is a kid that brings a ton of athleticism so this pick makes sense. Plus he has a history of injuries and the Suns seem to collect those types.
||Myles Turner, 7-0, C, Texas
|14. Oklahoma City Thunder
||Kelly Oubre is an athletic player who should bring some much needed defensive ability to the Thunder but will need to develop offensively…which means he is another player for Russell Westbrook not to pass to.
||Kelly Oubre, 6-7, SF, Kansas
|15. Atlanta Hawks
||Bobby Portis is an unselfish player and can do a little bit of everything. Atlanta loves those types. We saw how well that worked out for them in the playoffs.
||Bobby Portis, 6-10, PF, Arkansas
|16. Boston Celtics
||The Celtics have a number of holes to fill on their roster and “white guy for the locals to cheer for” might be the biggest hole of all. Look for Boston to fill that glaring need here.
||Sam Dekker, 6-9, SF, Wisconsin
|17. Milwaukee Bucks
||Montrezl Harrell is an explosive athlete who sometimes struggles to focus and gets that vacant look in his eyes. Not unlike the creepy eyes of the new Milwaukee Bucks logo. Sounds like a perfect match to me.
||Montrezl Harrell, 6-8, PF, Louisville
|18. Houston Rockets
||The Houston Rockets could use some youth at the point guard position after watching Jason Terry creak around against Golden State in the playoffs. Plus, Texas is a conservative state and Tyus Jones looks like the black version of Adam Carolla. Win/win.
||Tyus Jones, 6-5, PG, Notre Dame
|19. Washington Wizards
||Washington needs a young power forward that can rebound and pass since Nene will be turning 33 in the fall. Looney is a monster on the boards and probably won’t complain to the officials nearly as much when he misses layups.
||Kevon Looney, 6-9, SF, UCLA
|20. Toronto Raptors
||Amir Johnson, Tyler Hansborough, and Chuck Hayes will all be on the market for new contracts. So Lyles could fill a need in the Raptors frontcourt. Can he play? No one knows because we barely saw him at all last year. But he went to Kentucky. And that is all you need to know. So stop asking.
||Trey Lyles, 6-10, PF, Kentucky
|21. Dallas Mavericks
||Odd that the Mavericks would select a point guard with this pick considering the booming success that Rajon Rondo was but I am going to go out on a limb here and say they nab Grant who could be the best PG in the draft.
||Jerian Grant, 6-5, PG, Notre Dame
|22. Chicago Bulls
||The Bulls struggled to score 100 points last season in warm-ups let alone in a real game. Jimmy Butler is a free agent and the Bulls need some insurance. Vaughn can shoot it and could even play some backup PG just in case Derrick Rose were to miss one or maybe even two games at some point due to unforeseen circumstances.
||Rashad Vaughn, 6-5, SG, UNLV
|23. Portland Trailblazers
||LaMarcus Aldridge, Robin Lopez, Arron Afflalo, and Wes Matthews will most likely all become free agents this summer. Hollis-Jefferson can be a great defender in this league which is good because he might be playing one on five. Of course, he can’t shoot so the Blazers offense will probably struggle a little bit.
||Rondae Hollis-Jefferson, 6-7, SF, Arizona
|24. Cleveland Cavaliers
||The Cavaliers made it to the Finals but struggled to score when they had to. RJ Hunter would give them a long distance threat ala JR Smith but…you know…without all the crazy.
||RJ Hunter, 6-5, SG, Georgia State
|25. Memphis Grizzlies
||Memphis needs some 3 point production. The Grizzlies finished 29th in the NBA in 3’s made per game with a paltry 5.2. Steph Curry could punt in 3 point shots at a better rate than that.
||Justin Anderson, 6-6, SF, Virginia
|26. San Antonio Spurs
||We all know that Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich loves smart players. Anthony Brown is a Stanford nerd that will be happy to dress up like a wizard and play Dungeons and Dragons with Tim Duncan.
||Anthony Brown, 6-7, SF, Stanford
|27. Los Angeles Lakers
||Jeremy Lin’s contract is due to expire this summer so the Lakers will need to look for a point guard here. And you know what? Even if his contract wasn’t expiring it would make sense to look for a better point guard.
||Delon Wright, 6-5, PG, Utah
|28. Boston Celtics
||“You had me at ‘Mc’.” –Celtics GM Danny Ainge
||Chris McCullough, 6-9, PF, Syracuse
|29. Brooklyn Nets
||Point guards Deron Williams and Jarrett Jack are both over 30 now which doesn’t really sound that old. Until you see them play every night and they actually make Paul Pierce look like a teenager by comparison.
||Terry Rozier, 6-2, PG, Louisville
|30. Golden State Warriors
||David Lee looks to be gone and Marreesse Speights may still be on a post championship food bender so Golden State needs a big man. The Warriors are hoping Andrew Bogut can teach Martin to complain about obvious fouls while contributing absolutely nothing at the offensive end. Hey, it worked last year!
||Jarell Martin, 6-10, PF, LSU