Angry, vengeful Eli Manning vows to injure more teammates if demands not met

Disaster struck the New York Giants on Sunday, and it turns out, that it wasn’t an accident.

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The Giants continued their losing streak in 2017, by dropping to 0-5, with a 27-22 loss to the Los Angeles Chargers. Yet, as bad as the loss may have been, it was the aftermath of the loss that has Giants fans reeling.

During the game, the Giants lost four different wide receivers to various injuries, including Odell Beckham Jr. to a fractured ankle. Brandon Marshall, Dwayne Harris, and Sterling Shepard also left the contest with injuries that could be lingering.

Afterward, it was revealed that the injuries were not an accident.

“Yeah, I got those guys hurt.” quarterback Eli Manning stated at the podium. “I threw them into trouble, and I don’t mind admitting it. I am sick and tired of the lack of respect that I continue to get, and I have some demands, that I would like to make public. Until those demands are met, I will keep getting teammates hurt with my inaccurate passes, and poor decisions.”

What is it that Manning would like, in order to get his rage to subside?

“First, I want a statue like the one that Peyton just got in Indianapolis. I have won two Super Bowls, and I think I deserve it. Second, I want the Giants to pick all of the Almond Joy and Mounds candy bars out of my Halloween candy this year. I don’t like coconut. Last year, I accidentally ate two or three of those awful things, and ended up throwing up in my locker. My demands will be met, or I will continue to wreak havoc upon my fellow players in this franchise.”

 

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The 2017 Daly Dose College Football Preview: The Big 12

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The Big 12 is in a bit of a funk. They aren’t pulling the recruits that they are used to getting. They have only made it to the College Football Playoff one single time, when Oklahoma got blown out 37-17 in 2015. Many accuse the conference of being out of date, and not appealing to the younger generation, but we aren’t buying it. Then again, their most esteemed coach is sporting a mullet. So, we could be mistaken.

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1. Oklahoma Sooners

Predicted finish: 11-1

Bob Stoops might be gone, but the expectations for the Sooners remain the same. QB Baker Mayfield should contend for the Heisman with this high- powered offense. OU should roll to their third straight Big 12 championship, and then this group will get blown out in a playoff game. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

2. Oklahoma State Cowboys

Predicted finish: 9-3

The Cowboys could boast the nation’s best offense behind QB Mason Rudolph. The offensive line that used to be a weakness has grown into a The problem is that the defense will once again be very ugly. Not unlike a certain someone’s hair.

3. Kansas State

Predicted finish: 8-4

The Wildcats were playing very good football coming down the stretch in 2016, and they are hoping it will continue in 2017. Is there a chance that K-State could sneak up on everyone, and actually win the Big 12? Well, it hasn’t ever happened before, but who are we to crush their dreams?

4. Texas Longhorns

Predicted finish: 8-4

The Longhorns will face a challenging schedule that will see them play Kansas State, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State in consecutive weeks. New head coach Tom Herman inherits a talented group that outgoing coach Charlie Strong said should win 10 games in 2017. Oh sure, now he says that.

5. TCU Horned Frogs

Predicted finish: 7-5

The Horned Frogs could be a surprise in the conference, if they could get some decent play from senior QB Kenny Hill. Or if the defense could step up, and get some stops….okay, who are we kidding? I just wanted to see if I could say something about a Big 12 defense without laughing. I couldn’t.

6. West Virginia Mountaineers

Predicted finish: 7-5

The Mountaineers have a chance to surprise this year, because they are possibly the only team in the entire conference that actually plays anything resembling defense. Last year, they allowed just 24 points per game. So it is almost like defense. Like Dana Holgorsen almost has hair on top of his head.

7. Baylor Bears

Predicted finish: 6-6

Baylor hired former Temple coach Matt Rhule, who has no ties to Art Briles, or Baylor, or even Texas. Rhule and his staff were given mops, and lysol, and hazmat suits upon arrival in Waco, “Get that mess all cleaned up, Matt, and let’s never bring it up again.”

8. Texas Tech Red Raiders

Predicted finish: 4-8

Head coach Kliff Kingsbury is entering his 5th season in Lubbock, and his tenure has been a mixed bag. The Red Raiders have posted some amazing passing numbers, but inconsistencies in the running game, and poor defenses have been the cause of a below .500 record. Kingsbury’s job could be on the line this season, and considering the holes on this roster, he may want to update that resume very soon.

9. Iowa State Cyclones

Predicted finish: 4-8

The Cyclones went 3-9 last season, and that included a home loss to FCS school Northern Iowa. The good news is that this team should be able to get four or five wins. The bad news is that those pesky Northern Iowa Panthers are on the schedule again.

10. Kansas Jayhawks

Predicted finish: 1-11

Head coach David Beaty has actually done a pretty amazing job assembling some semblance of talent in Lawrence. You might not be able to tell, because he has gone 2-22 in his two seasons there. There is some actual progress here, and this year when the Jayhawks win three games, it will all come to fruition.

Did you miss the Daly Dose Big 10 preview?

Next up: The Daly Dose most notable teams from outside the Big 5 conferences!

“This isn’t a circus.” Mayweather insists. Promises to ride unicycle and juggle during bout with McGregor

Citing numerous sports experts that have deemed his upcoming bout with mixed martial artist Connor McGregor a circus, boxer Floyd Mayweather went on the offensive Monday afternoon.

“This is a serious fight, and I am sick and tired of people saying that it is just a cash grab, with no real value.” Mayweather said.  “Connor McGregor is a champion fighter, with knockout power, and I have barely been training. I’ve been drinking and partying, and I have hardly even gone to the gym. So anything can happen.”

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Tickets to the event that is being held at the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas this weekend are still available, and many believe that is why Mayweather is still doing his best to promote the fight. He has heard the talk that this fight is just a circus, and he disagrees.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that this fight is a circus.” Floyd retorted. “Just to prove how ridiculous that is, I have decided that I am going to ride a unicycle, and juggle oranges while fighting McGregor. It will not be easy, and there is a good chance that he knocks me out, but this is a legitimate fight. I want everyone to realize that this will be the crowning achievement for my fight record. This totally authentic championship fight will be an amazing finish to my amazing career.”

Daly Dose #138 Our midseason Major League Baseball report

This week on the Daly Dose, we are looking at Major League Baseball at the halfway point. Who are the best teams? Which teams are most likely to fade down the stretch? We know the Chicago Cubs are the defending champs, but can they even make the postseason this year? Are the New York Yankees and the Washington Nationals contenders or pretenders?

NBA free agency is slowing down now, and we look at the winners and losers from a busy offseason signing period.

The NFL quarterback may be the most important position in all of sports, yet we have a number of teams that are still not settled on who their starter will be. We know that the Denver BroncosChicago Bears, and Cleveland Browns still need to pick a starter, but who else could be heading for a QB controversy?

Why you shouldn’t care about the McGregor vs. Mayweather press conferences, and we count down the Top 5 most impactful NBA free agent signings of all time!

Listen here to Daly Dose #138 Our midseason Major League Baseball report.

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Houston Rockets looking to acquire new scapegoat

The Houston Rockets have had quite the successful offseason so far, and they are looking to make it even better.

After finishing the 2016-2017 NBA season with a 55-27 record and qualified for the postseason as a No. 3 seed. They would eventually lose to the San Antonio Spurs in six games in the Western Conference Semifinals.

Knowing that they needed to improve if they were going to make any headway in the ultra-competitive Western Conference, the Rockets went out and lured former Los Angeles Clippers point guard Chris Paul to a five year deal worth over $21 million dollars.

Then, they showed that they are not afraid to spend some serious money ,when they extended starting guard James Harden’s current deal. Houston gave Harden the biggest contract extension in NBA history keeping him in a Rockets uniform through the 2022-23 season. The deal could be worth $228 million dollars.

With their backcourt fortified, the Rockets then turned their attention to making one more very important roster move. They need to find a new scapegoat.

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The Daly Dose was able to speak with Rockets general manager Daryl Morey and he explained his plan.

“We really like what we were able to do in signing Chris and extending James, but the fact is that if this all goes sideways, we are going to need someone to blame. A player like Carmelo Anthony would really fit that need.” Morey told the Dose. “He is a big enough name, that it looks like we are trying to create the newest superteam, but let’s face it, he also has a shaky reputation. We could bring him in, and if everything goes bas, we can just pin the entire thing on him being such a ballhog. That seems like that might be the kind of perfect fit that we need.”

Morey also stated that this type of deal is hardly new. “Look at the San Antonio Spurs. They have LaMarcus Aldridge. And n Cleveland, they have Kyle Korver, Kevin Love, pretty much anyone not named LeBron James, really. This is hardly a new strategy.”

JR Smith tweets “Cavs in 8” following Game 5 loss to Warriors

Cleveland Cavaliers shooting guard J.R. Smith has never met a shot…or apparently a tweet that he doesn’t like. Following the Cavaliers loss to the Golden State Warriors in Game 3 last week, Smith tweeted out “Cavs in 7.” However, he claims his twitter account was hacked, and that he never actually sent that message.

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“I’m smarter than that.” stated Smith.  That revelation was actually met with some disappointment, as many considered the prediction to be proof of the faith he still had in his teammates to rally, and win four games in a row.

On Monday night, the Warriors wrapped up their second title in three seasons with a convincing 129-120 victory over the Cavaliers to complete the best-of-seven series.

As Warriors forward Kevin Durant received his Finals MVP award, and the Warriors celebrated their title, Smith’s twitter flashed again. This time it stated “Cavs in 8.” You really can’t blame Smith for the Game 5 loss. He went 9 for 11 from the field, shooting 7 for 8 from three-point range. You can, however, understand why he would be so confused after watching his defense on Steph Curry for much of the series. Curry averaged 29 points, and nearly 10 assists for the series.

Lonzo Ball will ask his father to drop him off at the curb for NBA Draft

The 2017 NBA Draft will be taking place on June 22nd in Brooklyn, NY at the Barclays Center. UCLA point guard Lonzo Ball is projected to be a Top 5 pick, but he is already gearing up to avoid an embarrassing incident.

When Ball attends the big event next month he has stated that he will ask his father LaVar to drop him off at the curb outside the Barclays Center.

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“My dad is always embarrassing me.” said Lonzo. “First he said I would be better than Steph Curry, LeBron James, and Russell Westbrook, then he said he could beat Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley in one-on-one. I’m just sick of him.”

The elder Ball has been extremely vocal throughout Lonzo’s collegiate career and the draft process. Back in April, he criticized the UCLA coaching staff when they lost to Kentucky in the NCAA Tournament. “Realistically you can’t win no championship with three white guys because the foot speed is too slow. I told Lonzo—’One of these games you might need to go for 30 or 40 points.’ It turned out that was the one game. Then once they get to the Elite Eight, they’re right there.”

Is Lonzo worried about the repercussions he might face for ditching his father at the draft?

“What’s he going to to? Start a shoe company selling cheap Kobe wanna-be’s for $500 dollars a pop?” Ball asked.

“Been there, done that.”

LaVar Ball worried he may not be a Big Baller for long

With the release of his new brand Big Baller line of shoes, LaVar Ball has had to justify the premium prices of the items listed on his website.

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Many in the sports world have questioned the price of the the main shoe, the ZO2, which is currently retailing for $495. The shoes will not even ship until November, and many critics are bashing everything about the new line, from the originality of the logo to the design of the shoe itself. Ball has refused to disclose any sales numbers, or even who is making the shoe. There are also a pair of sandals that are available to order for $220. All profits from the sales go directly to the Ball family.

In response to many of the critics, Ball released the following statement on Twitter:

He also spoke to the initial backlash stating that “Prada and Gucci is selling theirs for what they want,” Ball said. “Ours is better than that. It feels better.”

However, Ball has to be concerned by the fact that he was turned down by the major shoe companies — Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour. if sales do not take off, he will have lost a substantial amount of money.

“I’ve always been a big baller, but I am really hoping that people buy these shoes, or I lost a few million bucks.” Ball stated. “If this fails, I might be less of a big baller, which would be sad. I would have to wonder if I should have spent my money in a more lucrative way. Like perhaps shooting lessons for my son Lonzo.”

ESPN to award themselves bravery award for staying on the air

Amid all of the recent layoffs and reports, that the global sports television channel is losing millions of subscribers, ESPN made a surprising announcement.

They will be awarding themselves the Arthur Ashe Courage Award for bravery, this summer, at their annual ESPY awards show. A spokesperson for the media giant stated that the award for courage is only fitting.

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“What the executives here at this fine company have done is to be commended. Yes, things have been a difficult, and a number of very talented people have lost their jobs. Unfortunately, that was a sacrifice that had to be made, but ESPN will press on and move forward. We are not going to give up the fight.” stated the source.

ESPN has been hemorrhaging subscribers over the past six years, as many sports fans are changing the way they view their favorite sporting events. The problem for the network, is that they have already signed long-term deals for broadcasting rights to major sporting events, and their choices in programming are not keeping viewers satisfied.

Will any of the ESPN executives that made these ill-conceived financial deals be losing their jobs?

“No, that won’t be happen.” said the spokesperson. “But we will consider accepting this prestigious award on behalf of some of our fallen comrades.  Hopefully, that makes them feel better. Look, we deserve this. We are persevering. We feel like we are the Caitlyn Jenner of the sports media world.”