ESPN to award themselves bravery award for staying on the air

Amid all of the recent layoffs and reports, that the global sports television channel is losing millions of subscribers, ESPN made a surprising announcement.

They will be awarding themselves the Arthur Ashe Courage Award for bravery, this summer, at their annual ESPY awards show. A spokesperson for the media giant stated that the award for courage is only fitting.

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“What the executives here at this fine company have done is to be commended. Yes, things have been a difficult, and a number of very talented people have lost their jobs. Unfortunately, that was a sacrifice that had to be made, but ESPN will press on and move forward. We are not going to give up the fight.” stated the source.

ESPN has been hemorrhaging subscribers over the past six years, as many sports fans are changing the way they view their favorite sporting events. The problem for the network, is that they have already signed long-term deals for broadcasting rights to major sporting events, and their choices in programming are not keeping viewers satisfied.

Will any of the ESPN executives that made these ill-conceived financial deals be losing their jobs?

“No, that won’t be happen.” said the spokesperson. “But we will consider accepting this prestigious award on behalf of some of our fallen comrades.  Hopefully, that makes them feel better. Look, we deserve this. We are persevering. We feel like we are the Caitlyn Jenner of the sports media world.”

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