Fresh off their Super Bowl LI victory, there seems to be some discord among the New England Patriot’s locker room.
Despite being 39 years of age, starting quarterback Tom Brady is still playing at an all-time level. In 2016, Brady completed over 67 percent of his passes, while throwing for over 3,500 yards and 28 touchdowns. In over 400 passing attempts, he threw just two interceptions.
Brady has attributed his longevity to his healthy lifestyle. He has stated that he does not go out and party, choosing instead to go to bed early. He also avoids all caffeine, dairy, white sugar, white flour, and gluten.
He primarily focuses his diet on vegetables, lean meats, and only organic foods.
He has stated that one of his few allowable sweet treats is a homemade avocado ice cream that is made from coconut, avocado, and cacao powder.
Now, the Daly Dose has learned that backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo has been substituting Brady’s homemade confection, for what is actually Ben & Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Cookie.
“Look, I’m not saying that Brady isn’t one of the best ever…but did you see that pretentious list of foods he claims to eat? Give me a break. No one eats that crap.” Garappolo confessed. “I’ve been smuggling the Mint Chocolate Cookie into his freezer for months, and he thinks it’s just vegetables? There are actual pieces of cookie in it! If he really believes that was his homemade mess, Tommy might be getting a little closer to senility than people might think.”
When told of the news, Brady was obviously crushed. “Jimmy is a teammate and I thought he was a friend, but now I am forced to reevaluate our relationship.” said a dejected Brady. “Plus, I am really worried about what Gisele is going to do to me when she finds out. You won’t like her when she’s angry.”
But now the real question focuses on why the heir apparent to Brady would do such a thing.
Garappolo didn’t mince his words. “I have been sitting the bench for long enough. It is time for Jimmy to shine. And if getting him in trouble with Gisele, is what opens the door for me, then so be it. I ain’t going to Cleveland.”