Broncos sign velvet rope to assist ailing offensive line

The Denver Broncos are looking from help from an unlikely source.

After suffering their third loss in five games, and seeing their offensive line struggle yet again, Denver made a move to try close the floodgates om their offensive front.

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Broncos general manager John Elway knows the move might be deemed as desperate, but he had to do something.

“We knew that our offensive line was a weakness last year. Our quarterbacks were under constant duress, and our running game struggled all year to get going.” Elway stated. “We signed offensive tackles Donald Stephenson and Russell Okung in the offseason, but it is clear that those moves were a mistake. This year we have actually been even worse”

Denver’s offensive line has indeed been a sore spot again this season, as the Broncos have allowed 36 quarterback sacks, and their running game ranks 28th in yards per carry with just a 3.6 average.

On Monday, Elway announced his latest free agent acquisition, a velvet rope.

“I realize that placing an inanimate object into a live football game might seem crazy.” Elway stated. “But if you have seen this group in a real game, then you know that this actually might be an improvement for us. Some hindrance of the opposing defense would be better than none.”

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