So your favorite NFL team has now completed their draft. But how did they really do? Forget the so-called “expert’s” opinion. We can tell you how your team did right here!
Notable picks: Robert Nkemdiche, DT, Ole Miss
Outlook: The Cardinals didn’t really have any pressing needs and head coach Bruce Aryans has shown an ability to deal with players that others may shy away from. Still, it is odd that the Cardinals are putting bars on all of their facility windows after drafting Nkemdiche.
Notable picks: Keanu Neal, S, Florida, Deion Jones, OLB, LSU
Outlook: The Falcons definitely needed defensive help and they went and got some of it. Oh sure, we could make fun of them for taking a safety with the 17th overall pick. And we will because they still haven’t addressed their horrible pass rush.
Notable picks: Ronnie Stanley, OT, Notre Dame
Outlook: The Ravens saw the Laremy Tunsil video, and balked at drafting the talented offensive tackle choosing instead to grab Stanley. For some reason the Ravens are super sensitive about their players being caught on video doing shady things.
Notable picks: Shaq Lawson, DE, Clemson, Reggie Ragland, LB, Alabama, Cardale Jones, QB, Ohio State
Outlook: The Bills were hoping to get either Lawson or Ragland in this draft, and they actually managed to get them BOTH! Of course they also took Ohio State QB Cardale Jones, and in the land of Buffalo wings, he could be a three hundred pounder by training camp.
Notable picks: Vernon Butler, DT, Louisiana Tech
Outlook: The Panthers really needed to get some help on the offensive line, as we saw in Super Bowl 50. So they went out and instead drafted three cornerbacks to account for the loss of Josh Norman. Looks like Cam Newton could be a leaving a few more press conferences early.
Notable picks: Leonard Floyd, LB, Georgia, Cody Whitehair, OG, Kansas State, Jonathan Bullard, DL, Florida
Outlook: The Bears had an impressive haul on draft grabbing another solid linebacker, some offensive line help, and a steal with Bullard in the 3rd round. They are really on the right track to being a playoff contender! Oh that’s right, Jay Cutler is still their quarterback. So nevermind.
Notable picks: William Jackson III, CB, Houston, Tyler Boyd, WR, Pitt, Andrew Billings, NT, Baylor
Outlook: Cincinnati needed a wide receiver to replace Marvin Jones and Mohamed Sanu, but Jackson was the best player on the board, and the rival Pittsburgh Steelers desperately wanted him. So that totally makes up for the playoff loss last year. Take that, Steelers!
Notable picks: Corey Coleman, WR, Baylor, Emmanuel Ogbah, DE, Oklahoma State, Cody Kessler, QB, USC
Outlook: The Browns had a whopping 14 picks in this draft, and were looking like geniuses as they opted to go with quantity over quality in a very average draft. But then they took a wide receiver from Baylor with their top pick, and a quarterback from USC. So let’s put away that Mensa application, shall we?
Notable picks: Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Ohio State, Jaylon Smith, LB, Notre Dame, Dak Prescott, QB, Mississippi State
Outlook: The Cowboys wanted a powerful running back to plug in behind that offensive line and they found one in Elliott. But we all know that head coach Jason Garrett likes to show how smart he is, by throwing on every down, so he won’t give Elliott the ball. And the Dallas defense is atrocious allowing 121 yards on the ground every game, so they drafted Jaylon Smith who probably won’t play a snap in 2016. Jerry Jones strikes again!
Notable picks: Paxton Lynch, QB, Memphis, Devontae Booker, RB, Utah
Outlook: The Broncos select the 6-5 QB out of Memphis, to try to somehow replace future Hall of Famer Peyton Manning and high priced free agent backup Brock Osweiler. Those two combined for 19 touchdowns and 23 interceptions as the Broncos won the Super Bowl in 2015. But those are Mark Sanchez-type numbers. So the bar isn’t quite as high for Lynch as one might think.
Notable picks: Taylor Decker, OT, Ohio State, A’Shawn Robinson, DL, Alabama
Outlook: Detroit was able to fill out needs on both the offensive and defensive lines under rookie general manager Bob Quinn, who clearly doesn’t realize that such proficiency and competency will not be stood for in this franchise.
Green Bay Packers
Notable picks: Kenny Clark, DT, UCLA, Jason Spriggs, OT, Indiana
Outlook: Green Bay gets some much needed help on the defensive line with BJ Raji gone. Clark has a wrestling background and has proven to be very good against the run. But can he cover Larry Fitzgerald? Probably not.
Notable picks: Will Fuller, WR, Notre Dame, Braxton Miller, WR, Ohio State
Outlook: Brock Osweiler needs a few more receivers to go with DeAndre Hopkins, so the Texans grabbed Will Fuller, who has drawn comparisons to Ted Ginn Jr. Meaning, he has everything they want in a wide receiver. Except the catching part.
Notable picks: Ryan Kelly, C, Alabama, Le’Raven Clark, OT, Texas Tech
Outlook: The Colts are building up their offensive line, because last season they got a look at their franchise without Andrew Luck and it wasn’t good. And Andrew Luck got a look at life without his kidney. Also not good.
Notable picks: Jalen Ramsey, DB, Florida State, Myles Jack, OLB, UCLA
Outlook: Myles Jack is a steal for the Jaguars in the second round. He is an extremely gifted athlete that only fell in the draft because of a significant knee injury. So Jacksonville outsmarts everyone and gets two very talented players. Of course Jack will need micro-fracture surgery eventually so he could be out for the season by the time I finish this sentence.
Grade: A for now
Kansas City Chiefs
Notable picks: Chris Jones, DT, Mississippi State, Kevin Hogan, QB, Stanford
Outlook: The Chiefs get some help on the defensive front and they also wanted to find a backup for limited passer Alex Smith. So they picked up another limited passer in Kevin Hogan. Well done, Chiefs.
Los Angeles Rams
Notable picks: Jared Goff, QB, Cal, Pharoh Cooper, WR,
Outlook: The Rams wanted to make a splashy move after moving to Los Angeles, so they traded up for Cal quarterback Jared Goff who put up big numbers in college. And he went just 14-23 as a starter, making him a perfect fit for a franchise that rarely finishes above .500.
Notable picks: Laremy Tunsil, OT, Ole Miss
Outlook: The Dolphins get a steal in Tunsil when he fell in the draft due to the video that surfaced of him taking a bong hit while wearing a gas mask. And Tunsil gets a steal in South Beach where he can get into even more trouble than he ever did in Oxford, Mississippi.
Notable picks: Laquon Treadwell, WR, Ole Miss, Mackensie Alexander, CB, Clemson
Outlook: The Vikings get a pretty talented wide receiver in Treadwell, who has speed and great hands. But they don’t ever throw the ball to their wide receivers so they may as well have just drafted a long-snapper.
New England Patriots
Notable picks: Joe Thuney, OG, North Carolina State, Jacoby Brissett, QB, North Carolina State
Outlook: The Patriots didn’t have a first round pick because…well…you know…but they get a solid guard in Thuney and rookie quarterback Jacoby Brissett could conceivably be the starter in Week 1…because well…you know.
New Orleans Saints
Notable picks: Sheldon Rankins, DT, Louisville, Vonn Bell, S, Ohio State
Outlook: The Saints had to try to beef up their defense because they were absolutely awful in 2015 allowing 30 points per game. They’re still going to be awful, but now at least they can claim it is because they are young.
New York Giants
Notable picks: Eli Apple, CB, Ohio State, Sterling Shepard, WR, Oklahoma, Paul Perkins, RB, UCLA
Outlook: The Giants needed help everywhere and they got a number of players that can step in and help immediately. The fact that they all have 10 fingers is an added bonus.
New York Jets
Notable picks: Darron Lee, LB, Ohio State, Christian Hackenberg, QB, Penn St
Outlook: The Jets desperately needed some help on the offensive line to protect Geno Smith, but the fact is that they don’t really like Geno Smith. So they went with a linebacker, and an inconsistent QB instead. Suck it, Geno!
Notable picks: Karl Joseph, S, West Virginia, Connor Cook, QB, Michigan State
Outlook: The defensive backfield needed to be upgraded, and Joseph should help if he can learn how to actually tackle. But the Raiders needed a middle linebacker and instead chose to draft a backup QB. This could upset all of the fans dressed up in Star Wars costumes. To put it in language they can understand- “I can feel your anger. Let the hate flow through you.”
Notable picks: Carson Wentz, QB, North Dakota State
Outlook: The Eagles traded up to get to Wentz believing that he is their quarterback of the future. But the rest of the roster is a bit of a mess, as they need help at wide receiver and a backup running back for the oft-injured Ryan Matthews. Also, Sam Bradford keeps cutting the brake lines on Wentz’s car. So there’s that.
Notable picks: Artie Burns, CB, Miami
Outlook: The Steelers draft a 78-year-old man from a Florida retirement home. But man, can Artie Burns play a mean polka on his accordion!
San Diego Chargers
Notable picks: Joey Bosa, DE, Ohio State, Hunter Henry, TE, Arkansas
Outlook: The Chargers felt that Bosa was the best player on the board so they took him, despite the fact that he doesn’t fit their defense all that well. But Bosa does have a Jeff Spicoli aspect to him, and that should fit well in San Diego. “Aloha, Mr. Hand!”
San Francisco 49ers
Notable picks: DeForest Buckner, DE, Oregon, Joshua Garnett, OG, Stanford
Outlook: The Niners started off the draft strong, taking a safe pick in Buckner, but then they traded three picks to move up nine spots to draft an offensive guard. Then again Chip Kelly is involved here, so we know none of what San Francisco does is going to make any sense.
Notable picks: Germain Ifedi, OT, Texas A&M, Jarran Reed, DT, Alabama, CJ Prosise, RB, Notre Dame
Outlook: The Seahawks needed help on the OL, and Reed may have been a top 20 talent for their defense. Plus Prosise has a unique skill set and could develop into something special, so the Seahawks had a pretty good haul. Much like he did at USC Pete Carroll is getting some of the best athletes that money can buy.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Notable picks: Vernon Hargreaves III, CB, Florida, Noah Spence, DE, Eastern Kentucky, Roberto Aguayo, P, Florida State
Outlook: Tampa got value on their first two picks, trading down to get more picks and still getting Hargreaves. And Spence could have been selected in the first round. But then they traded two picks to move up and take a kicker. I don’t care if Aguayo is Morten Anderson, Adam Vinatieri, and Gus the field goal kicking mule rolled into one. He’s a frigging kicker.
Notable picks: Jack Conklin, OT, Michigan State, Kevin Dodd, DE, Clemson, Derrick Henry, RB, Alabama
Outlook: The Titans had 10 picks and got good value on most all of them. Sure, they should have probably gotten a cornerback instead of Henry, when they already have DeMarco Murray. We are so used to this franchise screwing things up that we are going to just let it slide.
Notable picks: Josh Doctson, WR, TCU, Su’a Cravens, S, USC, Kendall Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech
Outlook: Washington needed some help on the defensive line, but they stuck to their principles and took the best player on the board in Doctson, who might have been the best WR in the draft. It is impressive to see anyone in the DC area even have principles let alone live by them. Of course, unless Doctson can improve a defensive line that allowed 381 yards per game, then your self-righteous principles don’t mean jack, do they?