The Detroit Lions are the reason we can’t have nice things

It seems the Detoit Lions have ruined another great NFL player, as it was announced on Sunday night, that wide receiver Calvin Johnson has played his final season in the league.

Johnson, who is 31, told his family and close friends prior to the 2015 season that this could be it for him. He cited his chronic ankle injuries and body soreness as one of the determining factors in his decision.

Johnson also informed Detroit Lions coach Jim Caldwell of his intentions the day after the regular season ended.

Caldwell told Johnson not to rush the decision and to let his body heal before doing anything rash.


In his nine seasons Johnson wowed fans with his insane abilities. In his career he has logged 731 catches for nearly 12,000 yards and 83 touchdowns.

This isn’t the first time that the Lions have ruined things for the rest of us.

In 1999 Barry Sanders, one of the most electric football players in NFL history, abrubtly announced his retirement rather than continuing on with the dysfunctional disaster that is the Detroit Lions franchise.

And it certainly won’t be the last time either.

Lions general manager Bob Quinn addressed the media on Monday and said that he has not reached out to Johnson and “really isn’t too worried about it.”

“Calvin is a nice player and all but here at Lions headquarters we have other things to attend to. We have kids out there that still believe in Santa Claus. We have mosquitos to breed. And we have to fund Justin Bieber’s career. What I am trying to say is that we have too much on our plate right now to worry about Calvin Johnson, okay?”






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