NFL free agents keep telling Raiders “It’s not you, it’s me.”

The Oakland Raiders have nearly $40 million dollars in cap space yet they have been unable so far to lure any of the top NFL free agents to the Bay Area.

According to Raider’s team owner Mark Davis the answers from each of the players have been the same.

“We talked to Ndamukong Suh, DeMarco Murray, and Julius Thomas and they all say the same thing. ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ They really like us but they just aren’t ready for a long term relationship.”

Oakland was finally able to sign former Kansas City Chiefs center Rodney Hudson to a five year deal.

“They gave me $44.5 million dollars!” Hudson shouted.”I thought they were kidding! $44.5 million for a center? I’ll get my hair cut like Mark Davis for $44.5 million dollars!”

Davis meanwhile remained optimistic. “We have to find somewhere to spend this money. We need a wide receiver. Maybe we can just give Brandon Lloyd like $30 million dollars.”

When reached for comment Lloyd responded “I like the Raiders but not in that way.”


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