Jake Locker announces retirement from not playing

In a surprise move today Tennessee Titans quarterback Jake Locker has announced his retirement despite the fact that he was rarely on the field to begin with.

In four seasons in the NFL Locker started just 30 games and missed significant time with injuries to his shoulder, hip, and foot.

“I just feel like the NFL injured reserve list isn’t nearly as exciting as it’s made out to be.” said the 26 year old retiree “right now I am just looking forward to getting my subscription to AARP and taking it easy. I may join a shuffleboard league if I can stay healthy.”

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