Pro wrestling fan beginning to wonder if “this is all a clever ruse”

42 year old professional wrestling fan Rod Morris is starting to think that his favorite pastime could in fact be a fraudulent sport.

He has been an avid pro wrestling supporter since he was just a boy of six years old, but lately, he has spotted some instances that seem to be fishy.

“I have heard the rumors” Morris stated “but I know these guys are incredible athletes and the training that they go through is without a doubt real. Just the tanning schedule alone would be way too much for the average Joe Six-pack that thinks he could be a pro wrestler.”

And yet…

“I have seen a few things that give me pause.” Morris went on “I know the injuries that boxers sustain and they are wearing padded gloves. I have also started to doubt the competency of the officials in pro wrestling. I know they have their hands full but sometimes it seems like they really aren’t even trying.”

Will Rod be watching the big Wrestlemania event tonight featuring Brock Lesnar facing off against Roman Reigns?

“Of course. In fact, I am giddy for it. But I will be watching closely and if I see even just one folding chair smash that looks dubious I will take to my favorite pro wrestling message board “ProRassler.com” and I will voice my opinions fiercely.”

“These are not plays, and this is not a soap opera. We as pro wrestling fans demand more than that. I mean this isn’t the NBA for goodness sake.”

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Daly Debate: Which tournament coach do you hate the most?

Coach John Calipari Mike Krzyzewski Bo Ryan Rick Pitino
School Kentucky Duke Wisconsin Louisville
Why you hate him He wins. A lot. He very well might be the Devil himself. He ruins your bracket every year. He is slowly turning into Lara Flynn Boyle.
Greatest moment Winning it all in 2012. Making a deal with himself to beat UNLV in 91. Making it to the Final 4 last year and ruining your bracket He took Providence to the Final 4. Seriously.
Worst moment The Nets Missing most of 95 when the Devil made him settle up. Pretty much every other year in March Madness Porcini’s 2003.
Memorable former player John Wall Christian Laettner Some white kid with a crew cut. Antoine Walker
Why he wins He’s probably paying his players. Flopping. Bores the other team to death with his glacier-like style. His teams are known for their stamina. Which is ironic.

Steve Nash “retires” from “playing basketball”

Two-time NBA MVP Steve Nash announced on Saturday, that due to health struggles, he will no longer be playing basketball after 19 seasons.

The announcement was met with some surprise because Nash hasn’t actually been playing basketball since 2012.

In a letter published on the Players’ Tribune website Nash wrote “”When I signed with the Lakers, I had big dreams of lifting the fans up and lighting this city on fire.”

Instead it was the Lakers’ salary cap that was set on fire.

The Lakers are currently strapped with paying Nash $9 million dollars in dead cap space.

When asked if he would struggle with the adjustment of being out of basketball Nash was pensive. “Not really. Tomorrow I will go to the beach like I do every week. Then I will play soccer with my children, visit the hairdresser, and watch Ellen. It’s business as usual, really.”

Wasn’t it tempting to stick around and collect those big checks even though he is physically incapable of playing anymore?

“No, I can’t keep doing that.” He answered thoughtfully. “I’m not Kobe.”

John Calipari forgets to RSVP Kentucky for Big Dance ruins millions of brackets

Kentucky head coach John Calipari made a fatal error this week; forgetting to RSVP his 34-0 Kentucky Wildcats to the Big Dance.

“The RSVP was sitting on the table. I had filled it out and everything I just forgot to drop it in the mailbox.” Calipari lamented.

As a result Kentucky’s season comes to an end without a National Championship and millions of March Madness brackets have been ruined.

“We are obviously disappointed.” stated NCAA president Mark Emmert “Kentucky looked to be one of the best teams in the country, but rules are rules. And if we let them get away with not RSVP’ing then where does it all end? We begin to see the beginning of a lack of institutional control, And we at the NCAA will not stand for that.”

“It’s definitely a dark day in Lexington.” Calipari told reporters “But wait until they see the recruiting class that I’m bringing in next year.”

Knicks once again fail to qualify for the NIT

It has been a rough season for the New York Knickerbockers. Having won just 13 games all year when the invitations were sent out for the NCAA tournament, needless to say, the Knicks did not receive one.

But they had hoped to at least qualify for the NIT which plays it’s semifinal round and championship game at Madison Square Garden…the Knicks home court.

“Our players are devastated, and they should be, because we feel like we are certainly deserving of an NIT berth.” Knicks President Phil Jackson told reporters.

Knicks head coach Derek Fisher felt so strongly that they would be an at large berth that he has sat forward Carmelo Anthony for the past month. “We felt like we had a good RPI and that our strength of schedule would carry us” said Fisher “but the NIT committee is clearly changing the rules.”

“We beat the Nuggets once and the Celtics too.” tweeted Knicks shooting guard Tim Hardaway Jr “what did we do wrong?”

Tim Tebow pretty sure that NFL teams have just been “super duper busy”

Tim Tebow has been waiting for his phone to ring but it hasn’t happened yet.

Formerly a member of both the Denver Broncos and the New York Jets, Tebow has not been a member of any NFL team since the Jets cut him in 2013.

“I know teams are super duper busy right now with free agency and getting ready for the Draft next month” Tebow said “but I’m sure that a call is going to come. ”

Tebow has been training with Tom House to improve his passing mechanics which had been a concern for teams in the past. House has formerly worked with Patriots quarterback Tom Brady.

“I know that teams have been concerned about my ability to throw the football” Tebow went on “but I mean come on…Tyler Bray has an NFL job. Matt Schaub still has a job. Johnny Manziel can’t throw it any better than I can and that coke head still has a job!”

Dallas Cowboys sign Darren McFadden to their injured reserve list

The Dallas Cowboys made a surprising roster move that will not help sway opinions that they haven’t done well in the off-season so far. On Friday the Cowboys signed former Oakland Raider running back Darren McFadden to their injured reserve squad.

“We see the potential in Darren McFadden and believe that he will be the type of player that will give us hope at the beginning of the year only to be disappointed when he gets hurt.” said Cowboys’ head coach Jason Garrett “We just figured we would be proactive and place Darren on the injured list to begin with.”

The Cowboys lost two time Pro Bowl running back DeMarco Murray on Thursday when he signed a five year contract with the Philadelphia Eagles for $42 million dollars.

Garrett continued “Everyone said that we ran DeMarco too hard.” (Murray carried the ball 392 times in 2014) “we aren’t going to make that same mistake with Darren McFadden.”